Pumpkin Stuck on Deer’s Face

If you haven’t already seen the photo of the poor deer whose snout is stuck in a plastic Halloween jack-o’-lantern, you might want to skip it. It’s so sad. But what’s sadder is something the medical director of a local Humane Society said.

Let’s deconstruct:

• In Cascade Township, Michigan, a young buck somehow got his nose into one of those trick-or-treat pumpkin things that has a handle for ease of carry while you’re amassing gobs of crap that will later give you a stomach ache, a headache, maybe a cavity or two, and, contrary to what dermatologists will tell you, some zits. Go to Halloween No Treat for Young Deer for the photo, if you’re so inclined.
• The people from a local zoo have tried, several times, to tranquilize the deer. They want to bring him someplace to recover so they can release him back into the wild.
• Director of the John Ball Zoo said, "He seems to be doing pretty well."
• Au contraire, says the medical director of the Humane Society of Kent County (remember, local humane societies have no relation to the Humane Society of the United States). She says the deer might not survive being tranquilized because he’s "debilitated and dehydrated." And why wouldn’t he be? He’s been carrying a pumkin around on his face for DAYS! You try that; we’ll see how well you fare.

The story breaks my heart, and should’ve ended there.

BUT–The final sentence of the article says that the buck will have to be held until after the two-week hunting season, which begins this week, because, as the medical director of the Humane Society, Wendy Swift, said–

• The anesthesia COULD BE HARMFUL TO THE HUMANS WHO WOULD CONSUME IT.

Let’s recap:

• We want to help the deer so he can recover
• and be released back into the wild
• so he can be shot and killed and eaten
• BUT only if his flesh isn’t tainted with anesthesia.
• SO WHY DON’T THEY JUST SEND IN A HUNTER TO KILL HIM AND EAT HIM NOW?

Why all this phony concern for the deer? If they didn’t have a photo, I would bet my net worth that the story would’ve never made it to press. Yet if they got close enough for the photo, they should’ve been able to tranquilize him.

Maybe they should give the photographer the gun.