Don’t Feed the Bears or Kiss the Sharks

You wouldn’t think anyone would have to be told not to kiss sharks.

But South Florida, home of preposterous news stories, provides an apparently much-needed cautionary tale in "Shark Sinks Teeth Into Amorous Diver" (CBSNEWS, Miami, 09/18/06), in the form of a diver who swims with sharks (first mistake), kisses one of the sharks (next mistake), and promptly needs plastic surgery for his lip, which "looked like it had  been put through a meat grinder or a garbage disposal," according to his surgeon. The sharks were small nurse sharks, and when the perp. took his bite, snappers came in and nibbled, as well.

The diver, a Mr. Dave Marcel, learned his lesson. He said, "Don’t kiss a nurse shark while it’s upside down."

Huh? That’s his lesson?

Health Specialist Dr. Sean Kenniff, who spoke with Dave Marcel, super-genius, added, "Better still, don’t kiss them at all."

Mary Martin, Ph.D., and Animal Person, would like to add: Why not leave them alone altogether?