Believe It or Not, I’m Happy
There have been more than a handful of instances when readers felt a desperation in my tone. And I do think it’s there, but I think it pertains more to my feeling that the masses don’t appear to be going in a direction that’s positive. They appear to teeter on the brink of consciousness, but are quick to cease teetering the moment some expert or author or industry spokesperson gives them a reason–lame as it may be–to forget all that nonsense about seriously considering sentient beings.
But Mary Martin is not unhappy. I don’t have a propensity toward depression, and though I’m skilled at wallowing in misery for a moment and feeling every sting and ache, I’m also fairly good at detaching, releasing, and sending that moment on its way. It’s a survival mechanism, really, as if I overstay my welcome in my wallowing I could probably find myself quite unhealthy emotionally. Meditation (I do Transcendental Meditation and some mindfulness) helps immensely, as does basic training and practice in detachment.
In addition, and this is in a way related to Seligman, I socialize (happy people are very social, according to him. They’re also married and religious, and money is irrelevant, except for those who are destitute). But–and here’s the kicker–I socialize with nonvegans, and my gatherings are usually for some charitable purpose that has nothing to do with animals.
In other words, I have plenty of social time that involves altruism, but that does not involve animals. I think that if it did–if I spent that time at animal-related events–I might respond differently to the happiness question. I carefully control what I do with balance and detachment as my goals because I’m not sure if I’d be at all effective if I didn’t. (And because I don’t like being miserable.)
Seligman thinks we all have a baseline of happiness (or unhappiness), and events can temporarily raise or lower your degree of happiness, but you’ll return to your baseline. With training and intention you can change your baseline, but that’s a long-term goal and won’t be achieved by simply getting married and going to church or temple.
On most of Seligman’s measures (at www.authentichappiness.com), I scored in the middle. One of the exceptions was loyalty, which is basically about being a team player, and as I’ve written previously, I am not even close to a team player. Another was about being vengeful, and I’m not a payback kind of person.
Are you happy personally, and are you optimistic about the future?
I've always considered personal happiness a vastly overrated quality and tend to equate it with people who are too self-centered. Sort of like the saying, "If you're not angry, you're not paying attention." I'd have more respect for a Declaration of Dependence which offered life, liberty, and the pursuit of responsibility, or humility, or integrity.
As for optimism, that's completely dependent on what your hopes are. I'm optimistic that industrial civilization is in its last century, but I know that's not something most people are enthused about.
I would say "yes" to happiness and "no" to being optimistic about the the lives of animals (either human or non-human). To claim optimism there would seem more than a tad disingenuous.
I feel quite blessed to say that I have never suffered with any sort of incapacitating depression in my life, but I think that's owed, in large measure, to my determination to compartmentalize so much of my life. Being a vegan and doing advocacy work, for me, means looking at that realistically and not expecting much. It means celebrating victories that are hardly worthy of celebration. It means not getting too wrapped up in the world and not taking myself too seriously. And, yes, sometimes it means not getting too wrapped up in animal rights and veganism (that's not meant to imply that I don't take it seriously: I do; but I have to have a rich life out of that).
I don't hang out in vegan circles expect when I have to. I like the company of vegans, of course, but I don't spend my time seeking them. I feel like my advocacy is better used by spending time with people, regardless of their views on animals. I have some friends who hunt and fish (people who've done it their whole lives), and I honestly feel like I've done something good if I can manage to be a good vegan among these people. I know I might not ever inspire some of these people to change, but at the very least they can't write off every single one of us as "militant lunatics," as people are fond of describing us.
And that helps me stay happy: doing the best I can, without getting too caught up.